The Trouble With Aliens
by jaded river hussie
Summary: What happens when the pod squad discovers secrets & such about each other. Response to my challenge on the Roswell-FFN-writers list. Somewhat silly-fic. Contains adult language & situations.


Title: The Trouble With Aliens  
Author: Astrid  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Roswell or WB.  
Archive: [Eclectic Roswell Fanfiction][1]  
If you want if, please ask first.  
Rating: R  
Summary: What happens when the members of the pod squad discover secrets about each other that they just can't handle?  
Category: Challenge response fic. Very UC.  
  
Challenge Requirements:  
Must include:  
*an actual catfight between Liz and Tess but not about Max  
*someone saying, "It's stuck and I can't get it out!" (use it in whatever context you please)  
*Michael catching Max and Maria or Maria and Valenti making out in the back of the Jetta  
*Liz snooping around Max's window and seeing him and Isabel making out   
*catfight between Isabel and Maria if Michael catches Max and Maria together  
*sexual tension between Tess and Kyle or Tess and Alex  
*all of the teens getting drunk, half of them ending up in jail  
*end with a UC couple or trio or whatever waking up in the UFO Center and wondering how they got there  
  
  
  
"Hey, Liz, did Maria leave already," Michael asks as Liz walks into the Crashdown kitchen.  
  
"I dunno. She said something about going out to her car to get something but that was over ten minutes ago."  
  
"Thanks," Michael says going out the backdoor. He sees the Jetta parked at the far end of the ally and walks towards it. He hears Maria giggle as he approaches. As he gets closer, he sees two figures kissing in the backseat. Anger boils inside of him and he runs to the Jetta and yanks open the door. The two figures fall partially out of the car.  
  
"Maria!"  
  
"Michael!"  
  
"Max?!"  
  
"Uh, hey, Michael."  
  
Maria's sitting on top of Max, the top of her Crashdown uniform is unbuttoned. Max has a firm grip on one of her breasts.  
  
"Would you mind telling me what the hell you're doing underneath my girlfriend, Maxwell?"  
  
"I was just showing Maria how to do CPR."  
  
"Which is why your hand's on her breast?"  
  
"He was just checking my pulse, Michael."  
  
"Shouldn't you be checking his pulse?"  
  
"Oh, I did. Believe me, I did. Actually, I still am"  
  
"I can't believe you're doing this two me! I thought you loved me, Maria!"  
  
"I do, Michael. Believe, I do love you."  
  
"Then why the hell are you still stradling Max? Dammit, Max, if you don't move your hand--not that hand! And not there!"  
  
"Michael, stop yelling! You really need to calm down. Here, sniff this," Maria says, pulling a small vial out of her pocket.  
  
"What is that?"  
  
"Lavender oil. It helps to calm. Here, take it. I'll come over to your apartment later and then we can discuss this."  
  
"We're gonna discuss this now!"  
  
"Not with you yelling at me like that, bub," Maria says, getting in the driver's side of the Jetta. "You've really upset me, Micahel. I'm going home now to meditate. Call me when you're ready to talk about this like a civilized adult," she says just before driving off.  
  
"Maria! Maria! Dammit," Michael says, kicking the wall and walking home. He takes a shower when he gets home. The vial of lavender oil rolls onto the floor as he pulls his clothes off the bed to throw them in the hamper. He picks it up and looks at it.  
  
"I ought to shove this vial up Max's ass," He says as he unscrews the to and takes a wiff. "Damn! No wonder Maria's so screwy." Michael sits down on his bed and continues to sniff the oil. Before long, he starts dozing off.  
  
  
******  
  
Michael wakes up well rested. "Damn, that was one weird dream I had last night. I gotta stop letting Maria talk me into doing that aromatherapy crap," he says while getting ready for school.  
  
Maria's talking to Liz at her locker when Michael walks over to her and kisses her.  
  
"I see someone's doing much better. You must've been cranky last night," Maria says, smiling  
  
"Guess so. But that lavender stuff gave me some freaky dreams."  
  
"Michael, there's no scientific evidence that the lavender made you have freaky dreams."  
  
"Was I talking to you, Liz? Now, why don't you run along and make sure Maxwell isn't in the eraser room with Tess," Michael says.  
  
Liz's eyes begin to water, "Max loves me! He would never do anything like that! Especially not with Tess!" Liz slams her locker and runs down the hall.  
  
"That reminds me about my dream. I had just gotten off of work and I caught you and Max making out in the backseat of the Jetta and the two of you were acting like you hadn't done anything wrong."  
  
Maria keeps organizing her locker, "Uh-huh."  
  
"Why aren't you hitting me?"  
  
"Because you're being silly. I'm just glad that you've dealt with last night. Even though denial isn't always the best way to get around things, if it makes you feel better. Well, I'd better go check on Liz, make sure she's not flooding the bathroom. Later," she says, kissing him on the cheek.  
  
Michael watches Maria walk away, confused. "Denial? What am I in--" Then it hits him. "It wasn't a dream. Maria!," he yells, running down the hall.  
  
  
***  
  
Maria walks into the girls' bathroom, "Liz, honey, are you in here?"  
  
"Last stall!"  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"How could Michael say something like that? I saved his life!"  
  
"But he doesn't know that. Besides, we both know that Max would never go for Tess. And if he ever did, I'd kick his ass."  
  
"Oh, Maria, you're the best friend I could ever ask for," Liz cries, hugging Maria.  
  
"Of course I am. Now stop crying."  
  
  
***  
  
"Hey, Tess."  
  
"Hi, Alex."  
  
"How've you been?"  
  
"I'm good. You?"  
  
"Well, considering that Isabel's having emotional problems, not too good."  
  
"You can't get past second with her, can you?"  
  
"Well...no. Actually, I can't even get to second with Isabel."  
  
"Poor you."  
  
"Damn straight! I mean, why can't Isabel be more like you?"  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Nothing! It's just that--wow, uh, Tess, I can totally see down your shirt."  
  
"So? Geez, what is it with you guys? It's just a body."  
  
"Yeah, but it's a nice body."  
  
"Oh, you think so?"  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"So, Alex, have you ever gotten to second?"  
  
  
***  
  
"Liz, why do you want to check the eraser room," Maria asks.  
  
"Max and Tess weren't in class."  
  
"I'll kill him! Let's go."  
  
  
***  
  
"Isabel's the only other girl I've ever been in here with," Alex says, wrapping his arms around Tess' waist.  
  
"Kyle's the only other guy I've ever been in her with. By the way, if I catch you thinking about Isabel while you're kissing me or anything, I'll make you impotent."  
  
"You really know how to keep a guy's attention, Tess."  
  
"Shut up and kiss me."  
  
  
***  
  
"Well, are you gonna open the door or do you think it's gonna open all by itself?"  
  
"I can't do it, Maria. I mean, what if Max really is in there with Tess?"  
  
"Fine, I'll do it," Maria says and pulls the eraser room door open . "See? No Max? Just Tess and Alex." Maria does a double take, "Alex?!"  
  
Tess is up against the wall and has a leg wrapped around Alex, whose tongue is shoved down her throat. They break away at Maria's outburst.  
  
"Hey, Maria. Hi, Liz," Alex says sheepily. "What are you guys doing here? And can I watch?"  
  
"No, perv! And, ew! Liz is not my type."  
  
"Maybe I should let the three of you talk," Tess says, walking out of the room.  
  
Liz grabs Tess' hair as she walks past her, "You tramp! How dare you come between Alex and Isabel!"  
  
Tess spins around and slaps Liz into the lockers, "Hey, nobody forced him into the eraser room!"  
  
Liz rushes at Tess and yanks at two handfuls of hair.  
  
"Ow! You bitch," Tess stomps on Liz's foot and shoves her down but Liz grabs her and pulls her down with her. They roll on the floor, scratching, pulling hair, ripping clothes, and biting.  
  
"Damn, I wish I had a camcorder. Or even a camera," Alex says, leaning against the wall as Liz rips Tess' shirt.  
  
"I'd try to stop them but this is pretty fun to watch," Maria says, standing beside Alex.  
  
"Did Liz just fondle Tess?"  
  
"Keep your hands off of me," Tess yells.  
  
"I think so," Maria says.  
  
Tess gets the upper hand and stradles Liz and slaps her a few times before Michael and Kyle come down the hall.  
  
"Tess!"  
  
Tess looks at Kyle and Liz takes the opportunity to roll Tess over but she catches on quickly, refusing to let Liz have an advantage.  
  
"Alright, snatch on snatch action," Michael says. "Hey, Tess, rip her top off too!"  
  
Tess ignores him and sucker punches Liz.  
  
"That's enough, you two," Kyle says, pulling Tess kicking off of Liz.  
  
"Oh, no you don't," Michael says, grabbing Liz as she tries to jump up.  
  
"What happened," Kyle asks.  
  
"Maria and Liz found me and Alex in the eraser room and then Liz pulled my hair and called me a tramp and basically blamed me for Isabel and Alex not being together so I slapped her and then we fought."  
  
"It was pretty entertaining," Alex says.  
  
"I like watching two girls roll around on the floor as much as the next guy but you two need to simmer down," Kyle says. "We're going home, Tess.  
  
"I'll take Liz home," Maria says.  
  
"Bye, bitch," Tess says, walking out with Kyle.  
  
"Fuck you," Liz yells after her, starting to cry. "My parents are gonna be so mad at me."  
  
"Who cares about your parents? Tess could kill you in a blink of an eye," Maria says.  
  
"For someone so smart, you just did something incredibly stupid, Liz," Michael says.  
  
  
***  
  
"Just stay away from Liz for a day or two," Kyle tells Tess.  
  
"Can't I just kill her?"  
  
"Tess!"  
  
"Sorry. Can I at least give her horrible nightmares? Like, ones with me and Max having wild sex and she's watcing?"  
  
"Tess! I'm warning you..."  
  
"What are ya gonna do, Kyle? Spank me?"  
  
"I'll leave that up to Alex. Or Liz."  
  
"Bite me, Buddha-boy."  
  
"Not while I'm driving."  
  
Tess sticks her tongue out at Kyle.  
  
"Put that back unless you're going to use it."  
  
Tess continues to stick her tongue out and blows raspberries at Kyle.  
  
"You want me to pull over?"  
  
"Keep wishing, Buddha-boy."  
  
  
***  
  
"Stop!"  
  
Maria slams on the brakes, "What?"  
  
I want to see if Max is at home. Wait here."  
  
"Do I look like a cabbie?"  
  
"Please, Maria?"  
  
"Fine, just hurry up."  
  
Liz walks around the side of the house and stops outside of Max's window. What she sees nearly sends her into shock. Max and Isabel are on Max's bed; Max is only clad in boxers. Isabel is shirtless and her skirt is bunched up around her hips. Max is kissing Isabel's neck as he grinds his hips into hers. Liz almost retches as she blindly runs back to the Jetta.  
  
"Drive," Liz says, tears streaming down her face.  
  
"What's wrong, Liz," Maria asks, pulling off.  
  
"I-I...Ma-Max...he, he was, he was w-w-with...Isa-Isabel," Liz stutters out between sobs.  
  
"Liz, have you been sniffing the chemicals in the science lab again? Isabel _is_ his sister."  
  
Liz takes a deep breath, "Th-they were ha-having s-s-s-sex!"  
  
Maria almost swerves into another car and pulls over, "That slut! And Max, ooh, he'll never see me topless again!"  
  
"Wh-wha-what?!"  
  
"Oh, stop babbling, Liz. I can't believe I was gonna have sex with him! That bastard!"  
  
"You-you're supposed to be my best friend, Maria!"  
  
"Oh, get over it! You weren't giving him any. Besides, who would you rather be fooling around with Max, me or Tess?"  
  
"Uh...you?"  
  
"Good, now get out of my car! Go, get!"  
  
Maria drives off leaving a dumbfounded and still crying Liz on the side of the road.  
  
  
***  
  
Michael pulls out a cardboard box from underneath his kitchen sink and sits it on the table. He takes out a few bottles and lines them up: vodka, bourbon, rum, and tequila. He stares at the bottles and goes to the phone and dials a number.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Isabel, it's me. I need to talk to someone. Can you come over?"  
  
"Sure, I'll be there in a few minutes."  
  
***  
  
"Hey, Dad...Mrs. Deluca."  
  
"Sheriff, Mrs. DeLuca.  
  
"Tess, Kyle, Amy and I have some news."  
  
"Please don't tell me that you're getting married."  
  
The Sheriff and Amy laugh. "We're not."  
  
"Oh, good."  
  
"No, we eloped this morning."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"I'll go start the car," Tess says.  
  
"Please do. I have to get outta here. Dad, how could you make me related to Maria?"  
  
"I'm sorry, son, but we're in love."  
  
"Oh, Kyle, if you see Maria, don't tell her."  
  
"You can't tell me what to do! You're not my mom," Kyle yells and storms out.  
  
  
***  
  
"Hey, Isabel."  
  
"Are you okay, Michael?"  
  
"Not really."  
  
"What's wrong? Why are you holding a bottle of vodka?"  
  
"Sit down, Iz."  
  
"Michael, you're scaring me."  
  
"I caught Maria with someone else last night."  
  
"Oh, Michael, I'm so sorry," Isabel hugs him. "Is there anything I can do for you?"  
  
"Well--"  
  
phone rings  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Michael, it's Alex, are you busy?"  
  
"Not yet."  
  
"Do you think that Liz and I could come over?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Liz is really upset. She found out a few things today. Some things I think you should know about."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Thanks, man."  
  
  
***  
  
Maria parks the Jetta and walks into the house. "Mom?"  
  
"She's not here."  
  
"What are you still doing here, Sean? Don't you have a felony to commit or something?"  
  
"There's that hostility again. That time of the month?"  
  
"Eat me, Sean," Maria says, slamming the front door as she leaves.  
  
  
***  
  
Knocking on Michael's door.  
  
"Tess? Kyle? What are you two doing here?"  
  
"I just received some very disturbing news. I really should meditate but that takes too long. Getting wasted solves my problem quicker."  
  
"And yet again, why are you _here_?"  
  
"I figured you had to have a stash. I mean, you're dating Maria."  
  
"Yeah, right. C'mon in."  
  
"Were you expecting us," Tess asks, seeing the bottles on the table.  
  
"No, I was planning on getting drink myself."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Maria's cheating on him."  
  
'What are you doing here, Isabel?"  
  
"Michael asked me to come over."  
  
"Kyle, slow down. Take a breath," Tess says as Kyle drinks straight from the bottle of tequila.  
  
"Hey! Use a cup!"  
  
Maria comes busting through the door, "Michael!"  
  
"Maria, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I'm sorry, Michael, I can't believe I did what I did. Please forgive me."  
  
"Do you know how heart-broken Michael is? You don't deserve forgiveness!"  
  
"Isabel! Don't you dare try to pull this self-righteous crap on me!"  
  
"Excuse me? You're the one cheating on your boyfriend!"  
  
"And you're the one screwing your brother!"  
  
Michael and Tess yell, "What?!"  
  
Kyle spits out the tequila he's drinking. Isabel and Maria are shooting daggers at each other. Michael's looking back and forth between the two of them. Tess has slumped down in a chair, "Gimme that bottle, Kyle!"  
  
"I am not screwing Max!"  
  
More knocks on the door.  
  
"I-I'll get it," Michael says, walking to the door.  
  
"That's not what Liz said!"  
  
"What the hell does she know?"  
  
"Did we come at a bad time," Alex asks as he and Liz walk in.  
  
"I don't know," Michael says.  
  
"Liz! Did you or did you not see Max and Iz going at it in his room this afternoon?"  
  
"You were spying on us," Isabel asks Liz.  
  
"Ah-ha! You just admitted it," Maria says.  
  
"We were not having sex! We were just fooling around! Geez, what kind of freak do you think I am?"  
  
"Oh, yeah, that makes it better," Maria says sarcastically.  
  
"God, first Maria and Max and now Isabel and Max," Michael says, picking up the bottle of vodka again.  
  
"What did you just say?"  
  
"That's right, Isabel. You're not the only one Max is screwing around with."  
  
Isabel leaps off the sofa at Maria, "Stay away from my brother!"  
  
"Dammit! Where's a freakin' camera when you need one," Alex says, taking a seat on the sofa.  
  
Maria bites Isabel's arm, "Make me!"  
  
Alex looks at Liz, "This is all your fault."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're his girlfriend. He's obviously not satisfied with you if he turns to your best friend AND his sister."  
  
"But-but-but--"  
  
Kyle walks over to the couch and hands Liz a drink, "Have a drink. It'll make you feel better. And watch the show," he says, gesturing at Isabel and Maria.  
  
Maria trips Isabel. Isabel pulls Maria's leg from under her. Isabel starts to get up when Maria yanks her hair. Isabel pulls out one of Maria's extensions.  
  
"Ow! Do you have any idea how much it cost to get those in," Maria yells, her hands reaching for Isabel's throat.  
  
"Hey, no killing each other," Kyle yells. "You wanna drink, Alex?"  
  
"Nah, I'm good. Why are you drinking?"  
  
"My dad went and married Mrs. DeLuca this morning. Maria's my step-sister."  
  
Maria stops fighting and shoves Isabel away, "Wait, what did you just say, Kyle?"  
  
Michael's holding Isabel down.  
  
"Our parents eloped. We're related now."  
  
"How could my mom not tell me? We tell each other almost everything," Maria says, her eyes tearing up.  
  
"It'll be all right, sissy."  
  
"Don't call me that!" Maria walks over to the table and pours herself a drink.  
  
"You know, Liz and Tess' catfight at school today was much more entertaining," Kyle says.  
  
Isabel's starting to calm down, "What fight?"  
  
"You'd know what fight if you hadn't skipped shool to make-out with your brother," Liz says.  
  
"Ooh, burn! Good one, Liz," Michael says.  
  
"Get off me, Michael!"  
  
Maria sits beside Tess at the table, "Liz was all paranoid about Max and Tess and insisted we check to see if they were in the eraser room together. We found Tess in there with Alex. Liz snapped, crackled, and popped."  
  
Isabel looks at Alex, "You were in the eraser room with Tess? As in, Tess sitting at the table, downing shots with Maria, Tess?"  
  
"Yeah. I almost got to third, too," Alex says, smiling.  
  
"Since when were you interested in Tess?"  
  
"Uh, since I saw down her shirt this morning?"  
  
"''Scuse me, Esabel, but a lot of guys happen to be interested in me. I am just as hot as you are."  
  
"She's got a point, Izzy," Michael says, sipping on his drink.  
  
"Whatever! Who won the fight?"  
  
"Tess was kicking Liz's ass when Kyle pulled her off of Liz," Maria laughs.  
  
Liz starts crying again, "I'm sorry, Tess!"  
  
Tess tries to get up and falls down and crawls over to the sofa, "I'm sorry, tutu. Will you be my friend?"  
  
"Uh-huh," Liz says, leaning over to hug Tess and ending up falling in the floor. "Hey, the gravity broke," she laughs, falling into Tess.  
  
Tess, Kyle, and Michael laugh, too. "Who broke the gravity," Kyle asks.  
  
"It wasn't me," Michael says, as if he were guilty.  
  
"That's it, I'm joining you guys," Alex says, going over to the table and pouring himself a cup of bourbon.  
  
"Can I use your phone, Mikey?"  
  
"Okay but you can only call on this planet."  
  
"Yellow? Max, it's Liz. You suck! I'm dumping you, you, you two-timing--no that's wrong. You multiple-timing jerk!"  
  
"You tell 'em, girlfriend!"  
  
"Was that Maria?"  
  
"No, Smax, it was the artist formerly known as 'Ria."  
  
"Liz, where are you?"  
  
"I'm not telling you!"  
  
"Michael, your chair is broken," Kyle yells.  
  
"You have to pull it from under the table then try to sit in it," Michael laughs.  
  
"Liz, don't go anywhere, I'll be right over," Max says, hanging up.  
  
"Oh, pooh! You guys, Smax is on his way over."  
  
"Who cares about him," Maria says.  
  
"Did Liz just break up with Max," Isabel asks.  
  
"Yeppers," Michael says.  
  
"Oh, god, now I need a drink," Isabel says, grabbing one of Maria's shots.  
  
  
***  
  
Max bursts into Michael's apartment, "Liz!"  
  
Max nearly has an Aneurysm at the sight before him. Michael, Alex, and Kyle are playing shots poker at the table. Liz, Tess, Maria, and Isabel are dancing around, giggling. Tess and Isabel bump into each other and fall onto each other, laughing hysterically. The apartment reeks of liquor.  
  
"Liz! Isabel! I'm taking you both home!"  
  
"Hey, look everybody! Smaxie's here," Kyle says.  
  
"This kind of behavior is unexceptable. It's time for everybody to go home."  
  
"You can't make us, this is Mikey's place," Isabel says.  
  
"I can make you, I'm your brother."  
  
"And ex-lover," Alex says just before shouting, "Gin!"  
  
"We're playing shos poker, Al, not Gin. But, I might have some," Michael says, stumbling out his seat.  
  
Max looks at Isabel, "You-you told them?"  
  
"No! Liz Whiz dropped by after the fight and saw."  
  
"What fight?"  
  
"The one where Tess-Tess kicked Lizziebeth's ass during lunch."  
  
"Liz, what would your parents say?"  
  
"What would _your_ parents say?"  
  
"Like they'd believe any of you. You're all drunk. Maria, put down that bottle!"  
  
"You suck!"  
  
Isabel hits Maria, "Hey, did he ever do that thing with your nibbles and his tongue?"  
  
"You mean, the thing when he swirls it around and--"  
  
"Yeah, that's it!"  
  
"I always wondered how he learned to do that."  
  
"I taught him that!"  
  
"No way! Ooh, you've got to show me," Maria says, grabbing Isabel's arm and dragging her into Michael's bedroom.  
  
"What the?" Max asks, staring at the closed door.  
  
"Our fight was better than theirs," Tess says.  
  
"I thought you two were gonna start making out in the middle of the hallway," Kyle says.  
  
The bedroom door opens, Maria and Isabel poke their heads out, "Hey, Mikey, would you like to join us?"  
  
Michael looks up from under the sink, "Hell, yeah!"  
  
The door closes again.  
  
"I can't believe Michael's in there with Isabel and Maria," Max says.  
  
"Tess-Tess, let's pretend that the sofa's the eraser room," Alex says, making his way to the sofa.  
  
"As long as Lizziebeth promises not to interrupt us this time."  
  
"Don't worry 'bout me! I gotta make a phone call," Liz says.  
  
"Where were we," Alex asks Tess.  
  
"Somewhere between second and third?"  
  
"Yellow, Sean? It's Liz. Guess what! Yeah, I broke up with Smax! Isn't that great!"  
  
"Liz!"  
  
"'Scuse me, Sean. Shush, Smax! I'm on da phone and you're being rude!"  
  
"Just take a bottle and drink, Smaxie, and it'll all be groovy. I just said groovy," Kyle says happily.  
  
"Gimme that," Max says, grabbing Kyle's cup and pouring the contents down the sink.  
  
"Hey! That's mine! Sober Smaxie's no fun!"  
  
Max grabs the bottle closeest to Kyle and starts pouring it down the drain.  
  
"I wood wuv to go out with you tomorrow night, Seany."  
  
Max stops pouring and starts chugging the rest of the bottle.  
  
"Look at Smaxie go," Kyle yells.  
  
  
***  
  
**20 Minutes Later:**  
  
"Wee," Liz says while Alex give her a piggy back ride around the living room.  
  
"So, Tessie, why don't you like me anymore," Max asks.  
  
"'Cause you're so boring and uptight...everything is alright, plain outta sight. You gotta love that Stevie Wonder! And, um, you never take me to the eraser room."  
  
"But, why Ally?"  
  
"'Cause he's fun. And he don't try to be a, a, a playa. Besides, Mikey's taken and Kylie...Well, Kylie's still wiggy about the whole, you know, Czechasmo--Czecholobak--feh, Czech thingy."  
  
Michael walks out of his room, grinning, an arm around Isabel and an arm around Maria, "We've gotta do this more often."  
  
"Lissie, you're riding Ally backwards," Maria shouts as Alex and Liz go by.  
  
"I'm bored, let's go somewhere else," Kyle says.  
  
"But where," Alex asks, accidentally dropping Liz. "Whoops, sorry."  
  
Liz just smiles, "The Crashdown?"  
  
"Pod chamber," Michael suggests.  
  
"Fraser Woods," Maria suggests.  
  
"UFO Center," Max offers.  
  
"Ooh! Les go there! We can put the manniequins in kinky positions," Tess says.  
  
"I'm driving the Jeep," Isabel shouts.  
  
"I'm driving the Jetta," Maria yells.  
  
They all run and stumble out to the cars. Liz, Michael, and Alex get into the Jeep with Isabel. Tess, Max, and Kyle get into the Jetta with Maria.  
  
  
***  
  
The Jetta speeds past the Jeep down the street, Isabel runs a red light, trying to catch up. Sirens start behind them.  
  
"Uh-oh," Isabel says, pulling over.  
  
Deputy Hanson walks up to the Jeep, "Do you realize that--what's that smell? Have you been drinking?  
  
Isabel, Michael, and Alex shake their heads and Liz nods.  
  
"I'm afariad I'll have to take you four down to the station. C'mon, out of the vehicle."  
  
The four reluctantly get out of the Jeep and into the cop cruiser.  
  
  
***  
  
The Jetta pulls up outside of the UFO Center. Max fumbles with his keys to unlock the door. He finally gets it and the four of them stumble inside.  
  
Tess sits in a chair, "Spin me, Kylie!"  
  
Maria notices a lock on the door in front of her and grabs Max's keys and starts trying to find the right one.  
  
"Be carful, Riha."  
  
"Bite--opps."  
  
"Opps?"  
  
"The key...It's stuck and I can't get it out!"  
  
"So," Kyle says.  
  
"We're locked in. Max, Tess, one of you do the bewitched thingy!"  
  
Max and Tess look at each other and laugh.  
  
"Oh, you, you damn drunk aliens," Maria says, sitting on Brody's desk.  
  
"It'll be okay, sissy."  
  
"I told you not to call me that," Maria says, taking a swing at Kyle and causing him to lose his balance.  
  
They all laugh.  
  
"You k-k, Kylie," Tess asks.  
  
"Uh-uh. I got a boo-boo."  
  
"You want me to kiss it and make it better?"  
  
"Please?"  
  
"Kay," Tess says, sliding out the chair and onto the floor with Kyle, giggling.  
  
"What about me," Max pouts.  
  
"You want a boo-boo," Maria asks him.  
  
"Will you make it all better?"  
  
"I might..."  
  
"Hurt me! Hurt me!!"  
  
Maria knees Max in the groin and starts hitting him repeatedly, "That was for me, that was for Isabel, that was for...."  
  
  
***  
  
"You kids sit here while I call your parents to come pick you up."  
  
"Do you think that the others are worried about us," Alex asks.  
  
"Probably not. I wouldn't be."  
  
"Gee, thanks a lot, Michael."  
  
"Losing your buzz, Iz?"  
  
"Getting picked up by the cops does have a somewhat sobering affect."  
  
"I'm so glad I'm an orphan!"  
  
Deputy Hanson walks back over to the group, "Well, I called your parents."  
  
"When are they coming," Liz asks  
  
"Not until sometime tomorrow. They all think that spending the night in jail would be a good lesson. Oh and Mrs. Evans asked that I keep you, Michael."  
  
"Wha?"  
  
"C'mon, kids, this way," Hanson says, leading them to a cell. "I'll be back to check on you later."  
  
"How could my parents do this to me," Isabel asks.  
  
"This is Ria's fault for driving so fast," Alex says.  
  
"How could your mother do this to me," Michael whines.  
  
"I think I'm gonna be sick," Liz pouts.  
  
"Deputy Hanson!"  
  
******  
  
Maria wakes up feeling quite groggy. Her head is pounding and her back hurts. She tries to sit up but has trouble. Her eyes finally begin to focus. She's lying down on the floor of Brody's office. Lying to her left is Tess, whose head is on Maria's shoulder. Kyle's head is on Tess' stomach and his left arm is draped over Maria's stomach. Max is lying to the right of Maria. His right arm is just above Kyle's left and his right leg is draped over hers.  
  
"What the hell? Max, Tess, Kyle, wake up!"  
  
Maria struggles to get up, bringing the others out of their slumber, "Wake up, dammit! Oh god, my head. I need some chamomile."  
  
The others start to wake up and take in their surrounding.  
  
"I've been abducted," Kyle says.  
  
"No you haven't," Tess says. "Where are we?"  
  
"I think the UFO Center," Max says.  
  
"Looks like Brody's office," Maria says.  
  
"Why are we here? How did we get here? And why are we missing four," Max asks.  
  
"Don't look at me," Tess says.  
  
"Whatever it was, it wasn't me," Kyle says.  
  
"Hey, I'm just as clueless," Maria says.  
  
"What did we do last night," Kyle asks.  
  
"I'd rather not know," Tess says.  
  
"I gotta get home. Hey, why's that key stuck in the door," Maria says as she gathers her stuff.  
  
"Beats me, I guess one of us was trying to get into the storage room last night," Max says.  
  
  
  
THE END  
  


   [1]: http://www.chickpages.com/rants/vevay/roswell.html



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